the examined life is such a fascinating book, and sort of makes me wish i had chosen that path earlier on in my career
"Being present, whether with children with friends, or even with oneself, is always hard work. But isn't this attentiveness - the feeling that someone is trying to think about us - something we want more than praise?"
*
"But Dicken's tale points to a further, darker and unexpected truth. Sometimes change comes not because we set out to fix ourselves, or repair our relation to the living; sometimes we change most when we repair our relation to the lost, the forgotten, the dead. As Scrooge grieves for those he had loved but put out of his mind, he begins to regain the world he had lost. He comes to life."
*
"Anyone can become paranoid - that is, develop an irrational fantasy of being betrayed, mocked, exploited or harmed - but we are more likely to become paranoid if we are insecure, disconnected, alone...
In other words paranoid fantasies are disturbing, but they are a defense. They protect us from a more disastrous emotional state - namely, the feeling that no one is concerned about us, that no one cares. The thought 'so-and-so has betrayed me' protects us from the more painful thought 'no one thinks about me.' And this is one reason why soldiers commonly suffer paranoia."